And I’ve only spent a grand total of like 10 mins with them.
Mother & sister are visiting - I understand they’re tired after their flight and staying in my new, tiny, hot apartment is not an ideeeaaaaal situation. But get the fuck over it or get the fuck out. I’m not even fully moved in and you expect me to have ALL amenities perfectly prepared for you? Bitches, please. I could barely provide the basics for myself without having a nervous breakdown right in the middle of IKEA.
I jut hate how they’ve been acting like this trip is such an inconvenience to them and as if they don’t want to be here and don’t even care about seeing me. My sister wouldn’t hug me because I was late to pick them up. She’s approaching 30 - GROW UP. My mother hasn’t seen me in almost a year and can only ask me negative questions about me and my living situation.
I’m on the fence about my reaction to this - I was soooo scared I was going to go on a stress-binge, and I almost did (I hadn’t eaten in like 10 hours and felt hungry, so with the added stress I was extremely triggered). BUT for dinner I had one of those 200 cal gluten and dairy free burritos by Gutenfreeda, a diet ginger ale and a snack packet of Trader Joe’s trek mix. Healthy enough, and got me past the urge to binge. A couple hours later, after another interaction with my family, I was triggered yet again. I just wanted to chain smoke but all the delis in the area were charging like 13 bucks for a pack so I said FUCK THAT and got a Coors Light and a Cheerios Snack Mix. I’m not happy with myself, but I’m not totally depressed over it because I know it could have ended up being a lot worse…
OH GOD AND UNIVERSE AND WHOEVER THE FUCK IS REALLY OUT THERE: help me get through this week. Or just drop a bunch of Xanax in front of me like Manna from Heaven.